From Roaring to Purring

I don't know about you, but 2025 felt like A LOT.

 

Not one big thing in particular - just all the things, all at once.  And I know I wasn't alone. So many small business owners I spoke to (especially women) said the same.  Actually…. not just business owners. Women in general.

 

When did life feel like it became so stressful?

 

For me, it started early last year.  Some health issues with my mum meant a sudden trip back to NZ, then another in July when she passed away.  Even though we had our complicated moments (years actually) and weren't particularly close, it was still deeply upsetting - for all the things said & left unsaid.  On top of that, a few other family issues that quietly drained the tank.

 

Then add in all the roles we carry without thinking twice about it - mum, grandma (am I helping/doing/being present enough), wife, homemaker - & all the invisible admin that comes with those.  Then add small business owner to the mix.  Just wearing all the hats is exhausting enough.

 

And that's before we even talk about how often we take on other people's baggage too.

 

As Gen-X & 'Boomer' women, we were praised for multitasking like absolute bosses.  We were taught to give.   Giving was expected.  Receiving… not so much.  So, help can feel awkward.  Uncomfortable.  Sometimes even feel undeserved.

 

We've spent decades parenting, caregiving, volunteering, managing chaos nobody else even noticed.  We became very good at being needed.  People called us dependable.  Responsible.  The one who always handled it.  And if we're honest, our egos kind of loved that.

 

What we absorbed - even when nobody said it out loud - was this belief: "My value comes from holding everything together".

 

Then some of us became business owners.  And suddenly, needing help feels like weakness.  Delegating feels like failure.  Outsourcing feels like losing control.

 

So, we keep doing everything ourselves - not because we love it, but because it's familiar.

 

A lot of us grew up with "We are women, hear us roar".  And for a long time, roaring felt necessary.

 

But lately? I'm realising we don't need to roar all the time.  Sometimes it's ok to purr. 

To receive. To let someone else carry something for a while.

 

This year, I've decided is my year to purr. And to be more aware. Of where my energy goes, what drains it, how I react instead of respond and what actually brings me joy.

 

And I'm going to ask for help.

 

Not because I can't do it all - but because I don't have to - and quite frankly, I'm tired, and I don't want to, and it doesn't wear well on the skin.

 

There are millions of us women who feel the same way.  The pressure of balancing day-to-day demands, being everything for everyone else, and still trying to find time for your own wellbeing. Read more on The burnout crisis facing Australian women in 2025.  Choosing support isn't weakness, it's care.  Especially for our mental health.

 

But for now, here's to less roaring, more purring.  And giving ourselves permission to let go.

Sometimes just knowing others feel the same can be grounding.  If this spoke to you - I'd love to know. 

 

Aroha Nui

Shonagh